Taylor Swift swings by ‘SNL’ to celebrate Dakota Johnson’s birthday

Taylor Swift was on SNL.

OK, now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about Dakota Johnson.

Johnson was back hosting SNL just three seasons after her second time hosting the show. (There was a nine-year gap between Johnson’s first and second hosting gigs.) Did Lorne Michaels feel bad for letting Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake hijack her Season 49 episode? Or was he just such a huge fan of “Big Dumb Cups” that he had to get the Verity star back?

This was a serviceable episode. It had a different feeling than last weekend’s season premiere hosted by Jalen Brunson ... but I don’t think that translated into a better episode. While we knew what to expect from the NBA Finals MVP, the expectations for Johnson were higher. I can’t say that any sketch in this episode blew me away.

Are you all ready for Shane Gillis next weekend? He’s somehow hosting SNL for the third time despite delivering two absolute bombs. (Seriously, check out the host rankings for Season 49 and Season 50.) The first two episodes of Season 52 are going to look like Criterion Collection episodes after next week.

COLD OPEN

Republican Midterm Ads Cold Open

There was a time when not every cold open was political. It feels like a long time ago, but trust me on this one. Every episode of SNL didn’t have to begin with a slog through the week’s political headlines. There was even a time before Donald Trump dominated these cold opens!

It looked like we were in the clear this episode. The cold open kicked off with Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla as RNC consultants shooting a series of ads with various members of the Trump administration. (This, of course, meant that Padilla would not appear as Natalie Harp.)

The cold open breezed through Marcello Hernandez as Marco Rubio and Mikey Day as Mitch McConnell before spending some time with Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth for the first time this season. I still worry that Jost plays Hegseth in a way that Hegseth thinks is cool.

Before we got James Austin Johnson as Trump, SNL made joke after joke about no one wanting to see JD Vance. Which is wild. Let Jeremy Culhane loose. It’s frustrating to see someone who can make something out of this role not be allowed to give it a shot.

• “Sparkle ... shine ...”: There’s clearly a fire burning inside Culhane when it comes to playing Vance. Let that spark take hold, SNL.
• “I’m putting God back in war. And it’s working. Our soldiers are praying a lot more than they used to.” Seems like Jost shotgunned that beer way too fast.
• “Wrong, let me cook”: We don’t have to keep doing this. We don’t have to keep cramming Trump into these cold opens.

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THE MONOLOGUE

Hey, today is Johnson’s birthday. If my math is correct, she turned 37 during the “Throne of the Dragonborn” sketch. Honestly, hanging out with Ben Marshall and a giant dragon prop seems like a more enjoyable time than how the Madame Web actress presented her previous two relationships with musicians.

Were those two breakups very public? I had no idea Johnson had dated Coldplay’s Chris Martin. Her mention of some of her exes not wearing shoes, though, is something that I remember Martin doing when he was last on SNL as the musical guest.

• “You just show up once a week at my house with an empty bottle of wine”: A few years ago, I featured Swift in my roundup of people who needed to host SNL again. (Jon Hamm is the only one who has since come through.) I don’t know if I feel this way anymore. The Taylor Swift of 2023 is different than the Taylor Swift of 2026.

SKETCHES OF THE WEEK

Weekend Update: Matchmaker Debbie Mush Gives Michael Che Dating Advice

I know that we’re only two episodes into Season 52, but Sarah Sherman has been criminally underused this season. A strange thing happened in the season premiere where Grace Reiter and Jane Wickline took the weirdo lane in a sketch, and Sherman wound up playing a normie.

It also feels like, dating back to the end of last season, SNL has been making an effort to have Sherman mix it up with Michael Che during her Update appearances instead of relying on the relationship between her and Jost that the show has established.

• “What if I told you I got no gag reflex? I could swallow a cueball, no water.” That’s quite the line to end Weekend Update on.

Guns for Women

When Johnson hosted back in 2024, she gave the world “Big Dumb Cups.” That sketch became the official name for Stanleys in my household. Our daughter, who was two when that episode aired, even refers to her small Stanley as a “Little Big Dumb Cup.” “Guns for Women” is a very different product pitch.