I raided Target’s Sour Patch Kids stock for this candy roundup

I’m always on the lookout for new things to review at Snackology. Sometimes that vigilance means scoping out the seasonal aisle at the grocery store. Other times it means scrolling through the Target app looking for items with the “New at 🎯” note next to them.

That’s how I realized a bunch of new varieties of Sour Patch Kids just hit stores. (Or at least became available at Target, putting them on my radar.)

I quickly added six of these items to my cart: Sour Patch Kids Cherry, Sour Patch Kids MVP Top Picks Mix, Sour Patch Kids Fruits Tropical Mix, Sour Patch Kids Besties, Sour Patch Kids Candy Strips and Sour Patch Kids Chews.

Bill, that’s an unnecessary and ridiculous amount of Sour Patch Kids to buy, you’re quite possibly saying to yourself as you read this. Well, sure, you’re probably right. But if Snackology doesn’t embrace this kind of mission, who else will? (Don’t google that. Snackology is the only source for this kind of info on the Internet.)

I also really, really enjoy eating Sour Patch Kids. My go-to varieties are the classic pack and Lemonade Fest, but as evidenced by what you’re about to read, I’ll try any style of Sour Patch Kids candy at least once. Now let’s set a record for the amount of citric acid consumed ...

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Sour Patch Kids Cherry

What they cost: A 10.86 oz. bag was $4.99

My thoughts: I was worried that Sour Patch Kids Cherry would be too cherry-y. Like, medicinal cherry. Thankfully, the folks at the Sour Patch Kids factory got the cherry notes just right for this flavor. Sour Patch Kids Cherry also leans more “sweet” than “sour” compared to other flavors.

Snack score: 🍪🍪🍪 (3 out of 5 cookies)

Sour Patch Kids MVP Top Picks Mix

What they cost: An 11 oz. bag was $4.99

My thoughts: I guess I barely read the description for Sour Patch Kids MVP Picks Mix, since I went into this one expecting a football-themed batch of sour candy. Instead, it’s the classic five flavors of Sour Patch Kids (red, orange, yellow, green and blue) mixed in with Sour Patch Kids Cherry and Sour Patch Kids Watermelon. The mix itself doesn’t feel balanced — there are so many watermelons — but it’s nice combo of your standard Sour Patch Kids flavors with two of the fruit-themed offerings.

Snack score: 🍪🍪🍪🍪 (4 out of 5 cookies)

Sour Patch Kids Fruits Tropical Mix

What they cost: An 11.11 oz. bag was $4.99

My thoughts: Sour Patch Kids Fruits Tropical Mix offers four different fruit flavors: Passion Fruit, Pineapple, Tropical Twist and Paradise Punch. There really isn’t a standout flavor in the bunch — when did Passion Fruit become a standard gummy flavor? — and if you’re looking for a fruit-flavored Sour Patch Kid, you’d be better off going with Sour Patch Kids Watermelon.

Snack score: 🍪🍪🍪 (3 out of 5 cookies)

Sour Patch Kids Besties

What they cost: A 7.17 oz. bag was $3.69

My thoughts: On its face value, Sour Patch Kids Besties is a fantastic idea. We all have our favorite flavor combos, and Besties comes with two different sets of flavor duos. “We’re holding hands!” one of the Sour Patch Kids on the bags declares.

The only problem? Very few of these Besties survived the bagging process.

Despite the promise of infinite chains of Redberry & Blue Raspberry and Lime & Watermelon Besties holding hands, my bag was full of Sour Patch Kids with broken limbs. But I did like that this variety of Sour Patch Kids was closer to the firmness of the classic style instead of being overly gummy.

Snack score: 🍪🍪🍪🍪 (4 out of 5 cookies)

Sour Patch Kids Candy Strips

What they cost: A 3.5 oz. bag was $3.19

My thoughts: I can’t quite place what Sour Patch Kids Candy Strips are trying to be. The flavors and texture don’t exactly match what you expect with the traditional five flavors of Sour Patch Kids. The best I could describe these strips is that they’re trying to be Airheads but accidentally added too much plastic to the mix.

Snack score: 🍪🍪 (2 out of 5 cookies)

Sour Patch Kids Chews

What they cost: A 8.1 oz. bag was $4.99

My thoughts: There’s something so perfect about the standard Sour Patch Kids. Just the right amount of sour on the outside. Just the right amount of sweet on the inside. You know what you’re getting when it comes to not just the standard lineup but pretty much every other flavor. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about cherry, watermelon or tropic mix — sour on the outside, sweet on the inside.

Sour Patch Kids Chews blow all of that up.

This addition to the Sour Patch Kids family is basically a Tootsie Fruit Chew with a pocket of granulated sour sugar tucked into its core. As someone who hasn’t eaten any kind of Tootsie Roll in probably over twenty years, I can’t say this is a combo that really worked for me.

Snack score: 🍪🍪🍪 (3 out of 5 cookies)